The Rules of Televised Poker

I've always wondered how many viewers of televised poker assume that the games they watch are representative of real-life tournaments. I know there are some out there because I've played against them and they seem to enjoy donating to my new electronic toy fund. These are the poor, lost souls who like to go all-in against nine other players, just because they've managed to get two hole cards of the same suit.

TV games warp reality by only showing the fun bits. What you don't see are the 30-minute segments where players just trade the blinds back and forth because no one has a hand worth playing.

the product is basically a highlight reel of an all day final table. It would be impossible to tell the whole story in the amount of airtime that they have, so you're left seeing crowd-pleasing confrontations like A-K against a pair of jacks.

I worry about what other lessons players are taking away to their real-world games. The TV poker rules seem to include:

- Each table must have at least one guy in sunglasses.
- Each table must have at least one fat dude (bonus points for a fat dude in sunglasses).
- Each table must have at least one player with a nickname so lame you know they must have given to themself.
- If you are a female player, you are required to show cleavage (negative points if the cleavage is from the fat dude).
- If you're European player, you are required to be colourful.
- Each table must have one player so obnoxious that they would be savagely beaten if not for the cameras.
- You can only win an all-in bet if you stand up while the remaining cards are dealt.
- Even though tournaments last 9 hours, the same rules apply as in the Star Trek universe or on episodes of 24. There are no bathroom breaks.

Be careful what you learn from televised poker [Courier News Online]

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